That'd explain it

This week I found out why Ive been feeling unduly tired and cruddy for most of this year - apparently Ive had glandular fever!

I can't believe it. I mean Ive had some flu like symtoms a couple of times, and there was one week there where I couldn't get out of bed before 10:30 no matter what I tried, and occasionally haven't studied without feeling bad at all cos I was just so out of it - but I just thought I was soft, or getting old or something... Turns out I actually function at an elite level of physical fitness, pushing on through glandular fever :-p

Just kidding, but it does add another element of satisfaction to having handed all my assignments in on time and doing all my exams. Now whatever my marks suggest Ill know I put in some hard yards this year and there was a reason for it.

But while Im on it, God has really given me reason to praise him having found this out. GF effects different people to varying amounts - Ive seen active people reduced to bed rest and some people still suffering from it years later. It can be a soul destroying, body defeating nightmare. And yet God spared me from that. For goodness sake, Im no elite sportsman - far from it! God has been good to me because while Im still not feeling quite normal, I could have suffered so much more from it. That's reason to praise him.

More than that, Ive been challenged in other ways too. When things aren't going well and you don't know why, it's an interesting opportunity to learn something about yourself, in my case what I would let drop when I couldn't do everything. I assume that reflects what I think is most important in life. That's gold to know for future hard times.

Ive also been challenged about contentment (again) and being happy in my relationship with God outside of my own works. There's more to being human (and Christian) than working, so that's been a good reminder.

Ive also realised the importance of good friendships to share life with. I did a lot better at that last year, so one of my goals for '08 is to work on reltionships again. :-)

I could go on, but I feel like I need to think a bit more about it before I say anything, it's still farily fresh news. It has certainly changed my view of '07 in hindseight though - and I think in a positive way!!

It is God's nature to bring good things out of bad (Rom 8:28)

He is so good.

JT

Waifer of Mysticism

Currently listening to:

Enjoying a slice of calming buddhist inner peace type pre-exam meditation. Does it defeat the purpose if the very words that are supposed to put you in an emotional equilibrium grate you to the core at the same time? :-) They're not that bad... Fav's are 'get me some', 'sundirtwater', 'sweetest dream' and 'goodbye'.

How do we top this???

So looking forward to my holidays. Im lacking sleep and feeling a little under the weather, even though Im learning lots. Looking forward to some time away at this stage.... :-)

My Psalm

Found this from ages ago. Was never going to post it, but I kinda like it, and I can identify with a few of its sentiments at the moment... :-)


Is it too much to ask that you hear me?
_Not if you have mercy on me as you have
__throughout generation upon generation
___of your people
_Not if your compassion has been
__heralded among the nations
_Not if you patience continues for
__but one more moment.

Have mercy on me, O LORD,
__And hear my plea for help.

For I have turned from you
__the One I love,
And made my life a dispassionate waste
__Of grace befond measure.
I know your love,
__Your deeds of salvation;
Your goodness to Israel,
__Your greatness to the Gentiles.
Here I am supported by your hand
__________day by day,
_As I free up my time
__to study your Word;
But I have not the skills
___nor the dedication,
_The love, nor the strength
___To carry out the task you have asked me to.

In a House of stability, I waver;
__In a class of ability, I falter.

Have you made a mistake
___that i find myself here?
Have I?
Can I continue with what is unachievable,
Should I?

For the sake of your flock,
___Care for this care-giver.
For the sake of your Name,
___Grant what I need to honour you.
Hear me, and turn not your face from me,
Speak and I will be as you need me to be.


I love the Psalms for their honesty, and also their blatant faith in the face of difficulty. I've actually been enjoying exams so far (though I am more than a little over it today!), so I'm glad I found this.
(Just to be clear, this is definitely NOT a real Psalm, it's just a few of my thoughts scraped together. The Bible is much better...)

JT

'My hands held on, my heart let go'

It seems exams 07 are about trying to contain the truths of God and the world Im discovering even deeper in his Word so I can channel them into a few essays next week. My heart is free, but it must be directed. Not sure how well I can do that!

Im really enjoying what Im learning, and I love bringing things together. If I can just stay on the bike till the bottom of the hill it will have been a wild ride. :-)

Hope the rest of you are cruising.

JT